Communication - Personal Development - Business

Our grandson, Wesley McFall Young aka Wes graduated this weekend from the University of Tennessee – Knoxville with honors. When I think about a teenager making the decision to further their life, Wes becomes the poster child for self-awareness, focus, and discipline to maximize success. So here are some thoughts…

1. Self-awareness – What have you decided to “major in” – in other words, have you looked at your strengths and maximized them? Too many people focus on their weaknesses and become “victims of circumstance.” I believe people fall in this trap because it is easier than taking personal responsibility for their actions.

2. Focus – Is daily distraction pushing you from maintaining focus? Get a daily affirmation or write one yourself to make your thought process consistent with your dreams. You do become what you think about and personal development is the discipline and habit everyone needs to change. (Email me if you need one at Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com)

3. Discipline – Continuing to learn and grow is the key. Keep an open mind to everything. Difficult people and naysayer’s will try to push you away from your need for discipline. Don’t let it happen. Listen to your gut feeling and your intuition.

I recently spoke at the University of Illinois to a Women’s Leadership Conference and am always thrilled to see over 3000 people that want to enrich their lives by continuing their road to self-awareness, focus and discipline. What are your keys to success and how do you stay focused?

Marsha

Tags: self awareness, focus, awareness // Add Comment »

Why don’t some people just keep quiet and shut up? And I don’t mean just the difficult or toxic people. Maybe the personal development for workers should include how to sit quietly and just do their job. I was asked to give three reasons why people are motivated to communicate so here they are:

1. They want to hear their idea transferred to another person because they think it is different than anything anyone has said before. My thinking: I try to position my comments as “considerations.” Someone else has probably already thought of what ever I want to say anyway.

2. They think silence means nothing is happening in communication. My thinking: at least half of the people in the world today are slower paced. It is not right or wrong - it just is. And they need thinking time. Pay attention to how they manage communications and flex to their style.

3. They want their ideas and values to be accepted by everyone they are communicating with. My thinking: that is why communication is so dynamic. We all bring a different set of core values and perspectives when talking with someone else. Trained communicators stay open to all information, whether or not it is in perfect sync with how they think.

I, Marsha Petrie Sue, believe these three “considerations” on communications, when followed, allow me to have much better outcomes, and relationships. Whether a personal or professional relationship, I will always do my best to keep an open mind and not let personal judgments and perspectives get in the way.

It takes only three seconds to either open or close a mind. Choosing to keep an open mind is where I always want to be … not hung up with narrow-minded thinking or people! I plan to put away the duct tape, learn that silence is golden, and use personal development to become a better listener.

I am so tired of people not listening. I hope you click below and comment. I would enjoy your post and so would others!!! Thanks, Marsha

Tags: ability, listening, difficult people // 3 Comments »

I am currently at Rancho La Puerta in Tecate Mexico enjoying a wonderful respite with friends. Listening to lectures on health and participating in many activities is not only good for my mind, but also my body. Here is what I’ve learned so far and messages that I’ve been reminded about:

1. Other people’s toxic behavior does make you sick. The additional cortisol created from dealing with them (stress hormone) can tear down your immune system

2. Take personal responsibility for your own health. It’s the only body you have. EVERYBODY has 30 minutes per day to just take a walk. Turn off the TV and computer and do something. Exercise creates endorphins that help manage the toxic soup of cortisol, adrenalin, and other uglies.

3. Currently statistics say that you will be living in the same body about 80 years. Do you choose a great quality of life for those years or not? Your choice in the MAJORITY of cases. Hint: every 6 months get blood work done and find out how your toxic soup is doing.

4. Toxic people and difficult behavior (both yours and theirs) create the toxic soup. So what skills do you need to manage your particular situation? Learn new approaches. It is your choice!

The lesson for me? Stop procrastinating. Start doing more like really understand what food does in your system. Get my butt up and do something. I, Marsha Petrie Sue, have promised myself to eat better and watch the volume I consume.

Actually, being healthy is easy when you make it a priority. And I have.

So what do you plan to do? Marsha

Tags: health, cortisol, personal responsibility, weight loss, Toxic // 1 Comment »

A friend just returned home from the hospital and we wanted to send her something she really enjoys - not the same old flower delivery. I went on line and ordered her Mrs. Fields Cookies - her favorite. I order tons of stuff on line and have NEVER received a wonderful response and customer service as I did from Jacob. What did I learn about communicating results for business?

1. Make it personal - not a mass email to sign up for stuff I don’t care about.

2. Make it easy - tell me why I should do business with you.

3. Make is short - I don’t need a litany of products. I will know what I want when I need it!

Here is the email from Mrs. Fields…

Hello,
I am a service associate with Mrs. Fields Corporate Services Division and I wanted to thank you for the order you placed with us Online. If you have any gift-giving needs in the future, I would like to help you make the order process as “sweet” and simple as possible. I can help you with product selection, quantity discounts, customized gifts, and much more! If you have future orders whether it be one gift or many please let me know. We also offer customization on several of our gifts. We have an in house print shop that can place your company logo on one of many cookie tins or ribbons. If you have any questions or would like to set up a corporate account, my information is listed below. Thanks again for your order, we really do appreciate your business.

Best regards,

Jacob Perry, Corporate Sales
1717 S 4800 W, Salt Lake City, UT 84104
Phone: 801.412.8832 Fax: 800.878.8858
jperry@mrsfields.com <mailto:jperry@mrsfields.com>
“Making Gift Giving Sweet & Simple”

They have my business!!! Marsha

(email me for the Ten Commandments to Cooperation)

Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com

Tags: customer service, communications // Add Comment »

I enjoy receiving requests for help and guidance from readers. Here is one concerning a Backstabber in the office. How is your personal development? Do you have the communication skills to handle a situation like this? My comments are in ALL CAPS (AND I’M NOT SCREAMING!)

“A long-time employee in our office, who is respected by all of the companies shareholders, is a challenging person for her coworkers to work with. In the years I have worked with her, her interactions with me have always been positive. She is very skilled at projecting the desired image to those she perceives to be in positions of authority or power.”

“She is described by her coworkers: Will not share information about clients that others need. If directly asked for the information, she will respond with ‘I’ll take care of it’ and then may not take care of it, but may just wait for the other person to handle it wrong.
TRY THE ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION MODLE: IT MIGHT SOUND SOMETHING LIKE THIS:
1. THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF THIS
2. I NEED TO HAVE THIS COMPLETED BY __________ FOR ______________.
3. WILL IT BE DONE BY ______________ OR ______________
(AN ALTERNATIVE)
SHOULD I CHECK BACK WITH YOU ON __________ OR ________________.
4. THEN IF IT DOES COME BACK AND IS A MESS – USE:
IN THE FUTURE, I NEED TO MAKE SURE THIS IS COMPLETED. SO I WILL MAKE SURE I GET A CONFIRMING EMAIL OFF TO YOU BECAUSE I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT NOT BEING COMPLETED PROPERLY BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHECK IN WITH YOU OR PERHAPS WASN’T CLEAR ON WHAT NEEDED TO BE COMPLETED.

And the scenarion continues. “She is often very crabby with other staff - never with the shareholders.”
CALL THE BEHAVIOR. ASK HER, HAVE I DONE SOMETHING TO PERSONALLY UPSET YOU?

“Will not take responsibility for her mistakes - blames others.” (SEE MODEL ABOVE AND I WOULD RECOMMEND WRITING IT OUT SO YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH RESPONSE.

“She likes to stir up trouble but feigns ignorance if directly asked about it.” THAT SOUNDED LIKE A PUT DOWN. IS THAT WHAT YOU MEANT? IF NOT, HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM.

THE QUESTION IS – DOES HER BEHAVIOR PERSONALLY EFFECT YOU? IF NOT, IT IS IMPORTANT TO GIVE OTHER PEOPLE THE SUGGESTIONS AND HELP WITH THEIR COMMUNICATION SKILLS, BUT NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM FOR THEM. I BELIEVE THAT IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO IMPROVE A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE, UNLESS YOU WORK AS THE MEDIATOR WITH BOTH OF THEM IN THE SAME ROOM.

Marsha

Tags: Backstabbers, bad behavior, communications // Add Comment »

I just returned from speaking at the Women’s Foodservice Forum in Washington DC and was amazed at how many people, both on and off the stage, have no clue as to what closed body language does to their message. The majority of the people create barriers just by not paying attention to their hands. Be aware of:

1. Folded arms across the chest area can be interpreted as being closed to the other persons message.

2. Hands in the pockets can be viewed as hiding something.

3. Leaning back pulls the energy out of the conversation and from the audience or other person. Lean forward just a little with one foot slightly in front of the other.

4. Just touch the other person’s arm or hand for a second. It makes a very quick connection and can build a better relationship. (This is from a NOVA program!)

5. Look pleasant! Slightly tilt the corners of the mouth up and raise the eyebrows.

Good communications is quite simple. Pay attention to the way other people’s body language affects you and how it changes the kind of conversation you have. Focus on your own body language and understand how it can make or break a conversation. Personal responsibility and professional development begins with this kind of self-awareness.

Marsha

Tags: Uncategorized // 1 Comment »

We are huge College Sports fans and especially University of Tennessee. The Lady Vols won the National Basketball Championship last night. Pat Summit, their coach, is the perfect role model and mentor in communications, motivation and leadership. The game was supposed to be very close. They won handily over Stanford.

My step daughter, Karen, sent me this email and I believe there is a lesson here for us all… Don’t let your mouth over load your goals.

“‘I don’t know if you watched any of the pre-game stuff, but they talked about how SMART the Stanford women had to be just to get in (in my opinion implying that the TN gals were a bunch of morons)…one of their players said “Sure, Candace can dunk, but I’d like to challenge her to a “math-athon”. Well, they better stick to math because TN outran them, out rebounded them and flat out made them look like a bunch “math-chicks” trying to play basketball…

So, for our more challenged TN players, the math is simple: 7 + 1 = 8 National Championships!!! Lady Vols Rock!’”  Karen

Thirty-four seasons ago, after Pat Summitt had coached her first game at Tennessee, she phoned home. “Did you win?” her father, Richard Head, asked. “No sir, we got beat.” “By how much?” “One point.”

There was a long pause, and as Summitt feared that her father would blame her, he said: “Let me just tell you one thing, Trisha. Don’t take donkeys to the Kentucky Derby.” Pat’s father talking to her after her first lost of her coaching career. Apparently it paid off in her managing and leading young women to success!

They continue in the article “The message was a valuable one: The best coaches had the best players. Tennessee (36-2) clearly did Tuesday night in winning its second consecutive national championship and eighth over all with a 64-48 victory over Stanford.”

The lesson here for all of us? Communicate well, lead the way you want to be, and let focus and discipline be your middle names! Marsha

Tags: Bragging, communicate, communications // 1 Comment »

Have you ever messed up so bad that you were embarrassed to even bring it up no less apologize? I have and I did! I was scheduled for a professional development meeting and missed the start time. Being late is rude, unprofessional, and intolerable. My internal communication went wild.

In my ultimate wisdom, I “upgraded” technology meaning my world has been turned upside down. My mind is spilling over with new gadgetry including an iCal calendar that I have been told is much better than anything on the market. Grind that up with a new “upgraded” iPhone cell phone, and I am totally nuts.

The good news is my learning curve is being challenged… and I like that. The bad news is I was fifteen minutes late for a meeting that involved a large group of people. Beating myself up will not solve anything. Evaluating the “why” part of my tardiness and time management I believe will … as I take personal responsibility for my screw up.

Here’s what I’ve learned in the last 24 hours.
I have too much on my plate and I’ve done it all myself. Solution: prioritize with new eyes. Larry Winget, my mentor and friend, said “Stop everything except your personal life and your business. You have plenty of time for the rest AFTER your business is where you want it.”

Trying to satisfy everyone else and being “nice” to everyone that asks for anything is not always the best choice. Solution: every time I say “yes” to anything and put something on my calendar, ask myself, “Is this activity going to move me closer or further away from my goals.”

When I do make a mistake, understand why and stop beating myself up. Solution: Say I’m sorry, ask for forgiveness, learn from it, and move on. (Easier said than done!)

I received over 150 emails from people concerned that I was beating myself up - and sharing their wonderful words. People are just wonderful! Now that did me good! I am just grateful that I took the time to send an email of apology rather than hide. It helped me win the war on mental terrorism.

Thank you, Marsha

Tags: mental terrorism, forgiveness, apology, communicate, communications // 1 Comment »

My day yesterday is what I call “ugly.” Today when I woke up, after a sleepless night, I pledged to myself not to allow my internal communication drag me down again on the closing day of business for the week. I would not let this to happen two days in a row. Life is hard, life is not fair, and I have to get over it. It IS all about attitude. So I filled my mind with my daily affirmations

From Larry Winget’s book Shut up, stop whining and get a life:

This day I thankfully accept all of the good things that are coming my way. This day is full of excitement, love, energy, health and prosperity. This day, people are calling on me to be of service to them and I respond by giving my very best. This day, I think and practice health in my life, refusing to accept anything less than perfect health. This day, I accept the abundance and prosperity that is mine and willingly share it with others. This day, I focus on the moment and give no thought to the past or to the future. This day, I spend in total enjoyment of what I do. This day, I fill with loving thoughts and actions toward all other people and myself. This day, I spend in grateful appreciation of all that is mine. This day, this hour, this minute, this moment is all that I have and I choose to use it in celebration.

If you don’t like this one or want additional ideas try this blog site. Good stuff.

Do you have one to share?

Happy weekend. Marsha

Tags: Uncategorized // 1 Comment »

I hooked myself into Donald Trump’s, The Celebrity Apprentice and was baffled last week when Piers Morgan won over Trace Adkins.

Trace seemed to be the “Good” and Piers seemed to be the “Evil.” In the boardroom with Trump, Piers made it all to clear that The Celebrity Apprentice was all about communications, business and focus. His comment was right on. Mr. Trump had specifically directed the contestants that the crown would be awarded to whomever raised the most amount of money and they would be declared the winner. It was not about being “nice” or “liked.” Piers listened to the instructions and proceeded to accomplish the assignment. And the winner is communications.

By the way, Omorosa is an idiot. Talk about poor communications and her dumb comment about Piers and getting his teeth cleaned. She had an opportunity to shine through her communications. How many opportunities have you had to stand out and just didn’t have the right words? I know I have had plenty and am constantly learning to be a better communicator and speaker. Need some guidance?

Think about American Idol. It is now down to personality not talent in my opinion. Which of the contestants do you think comes across as a self confident (not arrogant), poised, and energized person? The viewers will forgive a “pitch” problem if they have formed a connection with the singer. Was Ramiele, who was voted off, confident when interviewed. Nope. She looked and sounded terrified. Her eye contact with the camera was weak, her voice wained, and her body language was less almost fetal. When she was working with Dolly Parton (and they are about the same size), Dolly was much easier to watch because of her polished communications.

How is your communication skill? Have you developed a self help habit to constantly strengthen each interaction? It is your responsibility to focus on your own personal development. No one else will. So what is your next step?

There is no reason why everyone shouldn’t be better communicators and place themselves in the winner circle. I believe the reason is because people are too lazy to get out of their comfort zone and learn a new approach…then actually use it. As a professional speaker, this is the number one requested topic and then right along with communications is dealing with difficult people. Number ONE! Every time I keynote a meeting, people will say, “Thanks I needed that.”

Marsha

ps: Did you click on the word listen for your complimentary download?

Tags: ability, communicate, listening, communications // Add Comment »