One additional thing I have noted about coaching people on how to address backstabbers is to keep the conversation at “adult” level, versus approaching it from either a “child” or “parent” framework, voice and tone.

This comes out of Transactional Analysis and the PAC Model of Communication (Parent-Adult-Child) refers to the various “ego states” we speak from in certain situations.

When people gossip for example, they’re often doing “child to child” communication.

When people backstab, they are often speaking from their own “child” or “parent” tone and want you to respond accordingly. They may speak as a “parent” to you, hoping you’ll respond as a “child”.

It’s very difficult for anyone to keep up the “child” or “parent” approach when they only get the “Adult” in response.

All of your tips on what to say and how to say it are fantastic, and I’d simply add for the readers (as I know I have your permission to do so) to remember to be an adult when you have those critical conversations with backstabbers.

Thanks as always for the amazing wisdom you share with us all.

Cheers,
Noel
(Sydney)