Tired of people’s excuses and bad habits?

Beautiful Kirkwood, Missouri

I was getting a news “quick fix” this morning and was stunned to read about the shootings in Kirkwood, Missouri. Several years ago I spoke to a government agency in Kirkwood and am still in contact with some of the people that were in the session because of my monthly newsletter.

The gunman, identified as Charles Lee “Cookie” Thornton, critically injured the city’s mayor and wounded a reporter Thursday night before law enforcers fatally shot him.

This is just so upsetting to listen to the mother – and yes I know her son was shot – say that the police kept giving him tickets for minor offenses. Laws are not suggestions and they have been established to protect bad choices and toxic behavior! Break the law, get a ticket.

The lesson here is stop making excuses, make better choices, don’t make the same mistake, and work on breaking the habit that pushes poor outcomes. I believe personal responsibility needs to be review.

When people don’t get their way because of their established bad habits, excuses abound. Interestingly the brother found a suicide note validating the intention of the shooter.  It said “The truth will come out in the end.”  It usually does.  I would love to hear your take on this!

Marsha

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One Comment

  1. Noel Posus says:

    Hi Marsha:

    I agree with you about identify the real areas of responsibility here versus blame. I hear people many times over tell me “the story” of why bad things happen to them. And, the look on their faces when I explore the factual series of cause and effect events, is often one of shock.

    In transactional analysis, we see the model of victim, perpetrator and rescuer – all mostly manipulated in a way for the victim to remain the victim. Interesting in this case that the typical “saviour” – the police – become the perpetrator, so that the victims can have a sense of justification of their feelings.

    Of course, when we’re hurting, sometimes looking for the answers we’re never going to get, it can be much easier to just blame or create an external justification. That’s still not taking responsibility, but I can also understand it being a stage of grief.

    Thank you once again for your thought-provoking article.

    Cheers, Noel

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