How to handle a Put Down from a difficult person

I received this from a reader and thought the response might be enjoyed by all!

“I have just finished reading the book ‘Toxic People’, I think it is great!  Just the thing I need to read before I go back to work after holidays. I have a few changes to make.

Is it possible to have a copy of the Planning worksheet and score card. (E-mail me and I will send these to you!)

I have one question.

If I use the saying, ‘That sounded like a put down. Is that what you meant?’ what do I say next if they answer, ‘Yes!’

Regards
Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

Thanks so much for your email.
Your question:
If I use the saying, ‘That sounded like a put down. Is that what you meant?’ what do I say next if they answer, ‘Yes!’
Use the fogging technique – “Well, you may be right.  Can you help me understand what I have done to create the put down.”
Or ask another questions that calls them to task. Dig deeper! I’m guessing that 99.9% of the time they will not say “Yes” – and that we think they will because we take it so personally and it tears at our self confidence!

Does that help?  Marsha

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