How to get what you want and want what you get!

by Marsha Petrie Sue, MBA

funny-complete-failureSuccess.  What does it mean to you? If there have been missteps on your success path, do you stop to ask yourself why?  Most people do not, so if you have — congratulations. Often times there is a G.A.P. between where you are, and where you want to be.

GAP = Growth, Authenticity, Performance


  • Self-awareness – Have you taken the time to analyze your core preferences and how they display in your current role? This includes looking at the context of your life, both personally and professionally.
  • Anger Management – Do you know how to control yourself when the situation is not to your liking? Letting others push you into anger is something you can control.
  • Anxiety – Do certain situations make you nervous or uncomfortable? Taking control of your confidence without becoming a jerk is part of life that you can manage if you choose.
  • Mental Terrorism – Is your thinking supporting you and what you want to do or be? 77% of the time adults are talking negatively pushing them down the negative spiral. You must have mental skills to shift gears to the positive.
  • True Listening – Are you waiting for the other person to finish their sentence so you can get your thoughts out? Developing presence in communication is something every human being needs to work on. Learn to be in the moment.
  • Generational Divide – Do people younger or older than you drive you crazy? Learn the difference in age categories and understand what drives their unique characteristics.
  • 360° – Do you know how your colleagues, peers and subordinates perceive you? Most people don’t take the time to do a simple Scorecard! (If you want my Scorecard, please email me at


  • Perception – Do you have any idea how your voice, handshake, clothing choices and more develop the perception others have of you? There are best practices on these important elements for any professional.
  • Trust and Respect – Have you taken time to understand the importance of trust and respect in your environment? These are two of the key factors of success.
  • Stress Management – Do you complain about being stressed out? Building ways to continually manage your pace and time management is your personal responsibility.
  • Emotional Intelligence (EI) – Did you know that this is the number one factor that will help you succeed? Train yourself on the nuances of EI and how the research will help you and your work groups thrive.
  • Say ‘NO’ without Guilt – Are you asked to do more with less and are overwhelmed with too much on your plate? Assertive communication models will help you manage any situation where people continue to pile it on.
  • Collaboration – Do you work well with everyone in your environment? Learning to negotiate with people you don’t particularly care about is critical.
  • Feedback – Can you provide input to someone without ticking them off and still get what you want? Telling them what they did well and how they missed the mark is a communication skill that everyone should develop.


  • Psychology of Talk – Have you ever talked to someone where you could tell they just didn’t get it? Varying your rate of speech is one of the keys. Also consider using words that are familiar to them.
  • Conscience Competence – Have you ever been asked to do something but you didn’t have a clue where to start? Allowing yourself to ask questions and understand that you may be in the group of the Unconscious Incompetence’s will help success.
  • Distractions – When speaking with someone else, are you distracted by your thoughts, word choice, mannerisms or other components of communication? Eliminating your own distractions will improve communications and save time.
  • Planning – Do you do research and prepare for communication whether one-on-one or one-on-many? Speaking extemporaneously at all times does not necessarily help you maintain a professional image. Decide before you open your mouth what you want them to do, think or feel.
  • Effects of Technology – How do you implement the tremendous value of your technology? Employing simple etiquette will help establish you as a force in your workplace or even at home. Learn to turn it off and put it away when necessary and appropriate.
  • Platform Skills – Are you comfortable speaking to a group whether small or large? Presentation skills are the number one strength needed to move up the path of success.

Each of these points helps identify and hopefully provides additional focus so you can speed up the success you want. Taking personal responsibility for each is up to you.  Don’t expect anyone else to tell you specifically what you need or to help you improve. You are in charge so identify the GAP!

What else do you do to help you succeed?

Cheers, Marsha
Marsha Petrie Sue, MBA

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One Comment

  1. Kurt Boxdorfer says:

    So smart! I definitely appreciate you posting this much needed information.

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