Twenty-six year old Paris Hilton is suffering an infectious malady; moral amnesia. The sad story behind her behavior has been spread by her mother, Kathy Hilton. Did you know that one of the early lessons mom shared with her daughter was, â€œBe a star or marry rich”? She encouraged Paris to wallow in selfishness and narcissism, and supported her decisions to go to clubs and party as a young adult. The personal responsibility lessons that should have been taught by her parents and teachers somehow came up missing.
Many people are attracted to the stories of Rosie Oâ€™Donnell and her abusive behavior because they have a â€œRosieâ€ in their life. The viewers of the media coverage may be searching for one drop of analysis that may help them deal with the difficult people in their work place or even at home.
Business Week Magazine has said that one in three working people say they have been yelled at and discouraged by their boss or peers.
Because I study difficult behavior and solutions relentlessly, I think each person faced with a Rosie behavior needs to take personal responsibility for the outcome they desire.
Now I’m not a parent (only by marriage) so I am certainly coming at this from a different perspective. Within the last two days, I have been asked by two “Mom’s” how they can make there kid better interact with conflict.
These kids are adult women, who have great jobs (one is an attorney) and obviously well educated. The mom’s want to tell them what to do. My suggestion was to ask their child what kind of outcome they want – the good, bad or ugly. Then to figure out to whom they are talking (communication style) and the approach they have seen work from other people — because obviously their approach is not working.
When we deal with people, difficult or not, I think just being plain old nice is a real bonus. Simple notes of appreciation are deposits into anybody’s emotional bank account. Here is what just happened to me…
My stepson, Al Sue IV, (pictured with his sister Karen) is not a difficult person but he reminded me on Mother’s Day how important it is to let people know how you really feel. Fifteen years ago, I named myself the ESM (Evil Step Mother) which I TRY really hard NOT to be.
Here is the email he sent me:
I really am tired of people being just plain nasty. Difficult people can ruin an otherwise great day. My patience was tried once again when trying to communicate to “web support” at US Airways. I simply asked if she were the customer, would her answer be satisfactory? Sarcastically she said, “No, but that’s the way it is.” Not too bad, until she completed her thought out loud with, “You’ll have to do it my way.” Yikes, I almost came through the phone. When will businesses realize that clients and customers vote with their feet?
Do you wee anything in the future wave of customer service training that may help? What do you do when someone really angers you? Marsha
I am amazed at people that email me with work problems where they choose to take NO responsibility for finding out more, or clarifying a situation. Do they just expect leaders and their company to read their mind?
In this age of computers, email and voice mail, we have lost the focus of personal responsibility and I personally am tired of it. Whether you are a leader or an employee, learn how to communicate well, ask questions and listen to the input. Check out my web site under articles for more on listening www.MarshaPetrieSue.com. Email me at Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com and I’ll send you some great ideas on how to instantly be a better communicator.
Train yourself to take responsibility for getting the new information that will guide you to successful outcomes. Help others do the same. Oh I know many of you do this already, so try to do a little more without driving yourself completely nuts! What do you think?
I think much of the toxicity in people today comes from parents and the educational systems “sanatizing” kids environments. Everyone has to learn how to compete, fail and succeed. Recently a coach had 30 girls try out for a soccer team and had slots for 10. Afraid of what the 20 kids and parents would say if their kids didn’t make the team, the coach TOTALLY rearranged the schedule to make “room” for all of the kids. What kind of lesson is that? Real life brings success AND failure. We are setting up the next generation for a huge let down when they get into the real world.
I was in McDonalds and ordered a hot tea – the woman behind the counter didn’t know how to make hot tea. Her attituded shifted to one of being upset with me.
She was one third of the way to a home run because at least she found the the cup. The manager had to be called and brought up to the front to tell her where the hot water and tea bag could be found. In looking at this entire situation and the woman behind the counter being difficult, I came to the conclusion that Training can be the real core to creating difficult people and bad customer service at work.
Two considerations here:
Make sure you are training well and insist that people show you that they know how to do the job! Maybe then we would have a fewer less difficult people!! Marsha