Practical approaches to age old challenges of Toxic People

I write and speak on difficult people and toxic people. But I must say, the majority of folks in life are just terrific. Specifically I want to mention Tricia Moody who wrote the following review on my JUST released book, Toxic People.

Toxic Travels

Marsha in Washington DCMarsha in Washington DC

I was thinking about managing Toxic People. I’m returning from Washington DC today and had some wonderful interactions but also encountered some difficult people.

I have determined that the way you were raised determines how you view the world. If you were waised by Toxic People you will have a tendency to become a difficult person. Kind parents – you have a better chance of being a nicer person.

Did your parents teach you to be suspicious of everyone and everything? My mom did. I couldn’t play with Dougie next door because he had “sneaky” eyes. Thanks Mom – lesson learned. Becoming suspicious about everyone and everything was from the role model provided at home.

Toxic People at the airport

Yikes. Bad behavior is permeating the airport terminal waiting area. Couples arguing, kids screaming, and just general rudness. Why? I truly it is because the graciousness of society is degrading at a spectacular rate because of the lack of interraction needed to run your life. Computers, cell phones, internet, DVR, and other technology eliminate the need to develop skills of kindness and caring.

As I sit here in the airport, I am making a promise to myself to be especially gracious to others – no matter what their behavior. There are so many difficult people here. How about you? Take this week to focus on being a great communicator, ask interesting and delving questions into what the other person cares about. NOT what is important to you.

Maturity is Underrated

Maturity is underrated, misunderstood and in a downward spiral. Where will it all end. There is now a new name being given to a disorder that describes people who, in my opinion, don’t use their maturity. It’s called IED or Intermittent Emotional Disorder.

Is this the reason that toxic people and difficult people are on the rise?

More interesting information can be found here.

Skills That Reduce Employee Turnover

It’s not just me that thinks there is a plethora of difficult people and toxic situations!

There is more good information there. And here is more from me! Let me know what you think!!!

The soft skills that reduce turnover, improve outcomes and build profitability include:

  • Communication Skills – developing flexibility to others’ styles.

Consideration: provide training of leaders and employees to magnify the importance of personal responsibility by increasing self-awareness.

  • Conflict Management – learning to use conflict as a brainstorming and creativity tool

Consideration: create mentoring and coaching opportunities for individuals struggling with interpersonal skills.

Laid off plan of attack

I received this email from a reader – thought this might help others if shared.  Instead of becoming a difficult person and a toxic person, he decided to strategize.  VERY smart!

Good Morning Marsha, I was sent your email “laid off,ticked off, and broke” from a loved one.

Toxic Procrastination

20% of the people admit to procrastinating on most everything. My opinion is that this is a learned habit that can be unlearned. You know what it does to to your completion of projects, missed deadlines, piles of paper on your desk and more.

How about procrastination on personal commitments – like exercise. I’ve had to train myself not to procrastinate on this one. So here are my easy steps to get back in the “exercise mode” and stop making excuses.

1. Commit to being healthy. Exercise releases endorphins into your over stressed system and counteracts all the stress hormones like cortisol and adrenalin.

Silence is Golden: Duct Tape is Silver

I was trying to put up with a difficult person and realized it was my job to take a different approach because everything I was trying was failing! I dug deep in my tool box and as I passed the Duct Tape and came on a tool that I had forgotten to use.

Listening! Did you know that silence and listen use the same letters? There is a clue there.
Listen for a change. Amazingly, conflict is reduced and many times Toxic People are even pleasant communicators.