Communication – Personal Development – Business

Last week I spoke at two events in Oklahoma City.  Thanks to Shannon Warren of the Oklahoma Ethics Consortium for writing the following article to accompany my presentation. Of course, as always, my focus is personal responsibility for our choices!

EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES:
Liars, Backstabbers& Other Unpleasant Characters

It’s almost as if an honest person doesn’t have a chance in business any more.  According to Marsha Petrie Sue in her book Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work without Using Weapons or Duct Tape:
·     4% of the population are accomplished liars – well over a million people;
·     1 out of every 30 people in high-performing business situations have been identified as a Backstabber.  That’s way higher than what you’d normally encounter.

Tags: dealing with difficult people, Toxic by Marsha
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I was asked if people are born toxic. Typically a person is toxic because they are choosing behavior that results in what they want. It has less to do with “born” with it or being around other toxic people. Lack of self confidence, no self awareness and unwillingness to change and grow can be center-pin for developing toxic behavior.

Take personal responsibility for your attitude toward conflict and learn how to communicate to get the desired outcomes.  You can change your self talk to be more positive.  Thoughts?

Tags: bad behavior by Marsha
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It is not true that suffering grows character; happiness does that, but suffering, for the most part, makes you petty and vindictive-Maugham
Vindictiveness is a result of feeling poorly about your own capabilities.  Building your self esteem and worth can help tackle this behavior.  Otherwise jealousy overtakes your thoughts and you will melt into the negative spiral of toxic behavior. Take personal responsibility for your outcomes.

Be sure to follow me on http://www.facebook.com/marshapetriesue
and please let me know what you think of the photo albums!

Tags: Toxic by Marsha
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Thought you might enjoy the free iTunes Download for the 52 lessons from The Reactor Factor: How to handle difficult work situations without going nuclear

Click here! Good reminders on how to stay sane in an insane world.

And if you want all the forms and lists from the b, you can download them for free also at www.ReactorFactorBook.com

Cool tools for success.  Not real sexy, but down to earth information.

Marsha Petrie Sue, MBA, CSP
Photographer, Fisherman, Outdoors Woman and Wife to “The Boy Named Sue”
Also a Professional Speaker and Author of a bunch of books and other stuff
Connect with Marsha:
LINKEDIN: http://t.pm0.net/s/c?6h.bl2g.8.6w4l
PLAXO: http://t.pm0.net/s/c?6h.bl2g.9.6w4m
FACEBOOK: http://t.pm0.net/s/c?6h.bl2g.10.6yc6
WEBSITE: http://www.MarshaPetrieSue.com
TWITTER @mpsue:  http://t.pm0.net/s/c?6h.bl2g.13.73cg

Tags: business success, dealing with difficult people, toxic workplace by Marsha
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Do you have a bully in your life?  Someone who interrupts you constantly and makes you feel terrible. These Toxic People are called steamrollers and can also be known as exploders, dominators, tyrants, dictators, bullies, autocrats, oppressors, persecutors, or tormenters. We have all had a few of these in our lives as a parent, boss, colleague, or friend.  They are not much fun to be around and create stress in our lives.

Problem: Your anger allows this behavior to continue because you’ve tried everything.

Solution: Take personal responsibility for changing the outcome with these toxic people by learning more about them.

Tags: stress by Marsha
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I was asked to respond to a blog post on conflict, and thought you might be interested in my comment.

As the author of Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work without using Weapons or Duct tape, I agree with the assessment.  Diffusing the situation quickly with language like, “You may be right. Help me understand . . .” creates an environment that allows people to vent.

Learning to keep your own conflict thinking and mental terrorism in check is also important.  Breathe deeply to get oxygen to your brain is step one.

Tags: bad behavior, dealing with difficult people by Marsha
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I ran into Kohl’s yesterday to grab one thing.

Retail Struggling to survive

A big check out line faced me but that was OK because I understand that retail is really trying to survive with less employees. A store employee came rushing by the line and opened the register.  The guy behind me just about knocked me over to get to the front of the line.  Instead of getting Toxic (after all I did write the book Toxic People!) I just stepped in front of him and put my purchase on the counter.  His face was bright red and I looked at him and said, “She said next in line and that would be me.”

Tags: accountability, bad behavior by Marsha
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The question is this – at what age should a person be responsible for the consequences of their choices and actions? I believe the answer is early teens. Have you even done something really stupid.  Boy I have!  But think about how training on personal responsibility relates to children’s development, grades, promiscuity, friend they chose, movies they see, games they play, etc.
In a statement released to The Associated Press, the swimmer, Michael Phelps, who won a record eight gold medals at the Beijing Games validated the authenticity of the exclusive picture published Sunday by the tabloid News of the World.

Tags: accountability, role model, stupid consequences by Marsha
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Headlines today: Job losses forecast to continue during ’09.  So here is the problem.

The number one New Years Resolution is to be more healthy and lose weight. Actually paying attention to your fitness and girth can help your business success. Here’s how. Did you know that some companies are penalizing people for being fat?  Outrageous you might say. The fact is companies are choosing this route in an effort to cut health care costs and reduce the number of people having to be laid off. It is a bottom line, business decision and has nothing to do with fat acceptance or non-acceptance. Does this resonate with you? Have you pledged to better self-awareness to manage your health?

Tags: bad habits, health, laid off, outsourced by Marsha
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I had a wonderful email from a person after they had finished reading my book, Toxic People.  I wanted to share my response to them.  In my opinion, just asking this kind of question takes real guts! It’s all about personal responsibility, self leadership, accountability and managing change.

They said: I would say I am a difficult person you mention in our book/ the Zipper Lip/
My response: This is a behavioral choice you are making to combat a situation that you don’t like.  The hard reality is that Zipper Lips choose this behavior because they either don’t know how else to respond or are too lazy to change.  I’m guessing you are in category 1.

Tags: accountability, bad behavior, zipper lip by Marsha
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