1. Self-awareness – What have you decided to “major in” – in other words, have you looked at your strengths and maximized them? Too many people focus on their weaknesses and become “victims of circumstance.” I believe people fall in this trap because it is easier than taking personal responsibility for their actions.

2. Focus – Is daily distraction pushing you from maintaining focus? Get a daily affirmation or write one yourself to make your thought process consistent with your dreams. You do become what you think about and personal development is the discipline and habit everyone needs to change. (Email me if you need one at Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com)

3. Discipline – Continuing to learn and grow is the key. Keep an open mind to everything. Difficult people and naysayer’s will try to push you away from your need for discipline. Don’t let it happen. Listen to your gut feeling and your intuition.

I recently spoke at the University of Illinois to a Women’s Leadership Conference and am always thrilled to see over 3000 people that want to enrich their lives by continuing their road to self-awareness, focus and discipline. What are your keys to success and how do you stay focused?

Marsha

Patrick Henry Hughes was born without sight and some real physical issues. He views his “disability” as an “ability” to do certain things better than most people. Patrick Henry has the ability to see people from the inside out, rather than judge them from the outside in.

When he said this, it was like someone slapped me in the face. I had NEVER thought of judgment in this way. Unless you are sight impaired, you judge. We all do. So here is the lesson. Pretend your eyes are closed when you meet someone. Listen to their soul speak. Become a great listener and an even better questioner. Suspend your judgments. Dig deep.

Personally I’m tired of people being so self absorbed that it is all about themselves. They mentioned on Extreme Makeover a web site that is a great one. I will also be selfish here (oh that’s right, it’s not about me) and ask you to visit my heartstrings at www.AZMagic.org.

Marsha

I was getting a news “quick fix” this morning and was stunned to read about the shootings in Kirkwood, Missouri. Several years ago I spoke to a government agency in Kirkwood and am still in contact with some of the people that were in the session because of my monthly newsletter.

The gunman, identified as Charles Lee “Cookie” Thornton, critically injured the city’s mayor and wounded a reporter Thursday night before law enforcers fatally shot him.

This is just so upsetting to listen to the mother – and yes I know her son was shot – say that the police kept giving him tickets for minor offenses. Laws are not suggestions and they have been established to protect bad choices and toxic behavior! Break the law, get a ticket.

The lesson here is stop making excuses, make better choices, don’t make the same mistake, and work on breaking the habit that pushes poor outcomes. I believe personal responsibility needs to be review.

When people don’t get their way because of their established bad habits, excuses abound. Interestingly the brother found a suicide note validating the intention of the shooter.  It said “The truth will come out in the end.“  It usually does.  I would love to hear your take on this!

Marsha

They were without a doubt one of the most gracious and kind groups I have ever spoken to. With their global success and excellent brand recognition, the exposure to negative comment and perception is great.

So my idea of the day is DON’T GO THERE!  Keep an open mind and form your OWN opinion.

Marsha

I am convinced that you do become what you think about so I make a choice not to start a great day with ugly information. It can make you a Toxic Person! What the WSJ does for me is condenses important factoids into two or three sentences. IF I choose to read more, then I can.

What do you fill your head with? Uglyness immediately in the morning by popping on the TV? Watching Headline News, CNBC or Fox. Here is my challenge to you – stop doing it! Music is good but it is chewing gum for your brain. How about downloading a book or some positive, forward thinking information to give you survival tools. Life is hard, life is unfair … so get over it.

I made that choice a VERY long time ago and am glad I did! Happy listening.

Marsha

“I have just finished reading the book ‘Toxic People’, I think it is great!  Just the thing I need to read before I go back to work after holidays. I have a few changes to make.

Is it possible to have a copy of the Planning worksheet and score card. (E-mail me and I will send these to you!)

I have one question.

If I use the saying, ‘That sounded like a put down. Is that what you meant?’ what do I say next if they answer, ‘Yes!’

Regards
Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

Thanks so much for your email.
Your question:
If I use the saying, ‘That sounded like a put down. Is that what you meant?’ what do I say next if they answer, ‘Yes!’
Use the fogging technique – “Well, you may be right.  Can you help me understand what I have done to create the put down.”
Or ask another questions that calls them to task. Dig deeper! I’m guessing that 99.9% of the time they will not say “Yes” – and that we think they will because we take it so personally and it tears at our self confidence!

Does that help?  Marsha

–

This is a great tool that I think everyone should use and learn from.  Make sure your bucket is filled to the top with ideas you can apply every day!  Just a thought.

It is our job to learn how to handle difficult people!  Happy New Year.  It will be a GREAT ’08.  Marsha

1. Evaluate the talents of all team members. Include systems they have worked with, successful projects, and all components of project management. Have each member put their “talents” on post-it notes. Have each member go to a plain wall group post-it notes appropriately in similar columns. Read Joe Calloway’s book, “Work Like You’re Showing Off” and Larry Winget’s “Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life.”

2. Discuss what kinds of projects, in general, the group enjoys completing. When people work on anything they enjoy, time flies and the work results are even better. Keep in mind that high visibility, high payoff projects are good career moves, but also consider the “ugly step-sister” projects where the team can be a hero.

3. Create a “best project” list and identify the actions that are needed to successfully complete the work. Think like you own the company and your money is financing the efforts. Include deadlines and time lines for each item.

4. Assign project steps to individuals and start looking at team leads. Each team member should sign a pledge of endorsement and commitment. As companies continue to work at lightening speed, there needs to be fall back plans for managing difficult people (whether internal or external.) Email me for a pledge from Toxic People that you can use for this.

5. Present your proposal professionally. This is learned and most professionals don’t do a very good job of this. Their intent is lost in their nervousness and poor planning. Need more information? Email me for a special message on presentation skills. Just let me know how I can help.

Stick your neck out on that re-org path. It is your job to make sure everything goes smoothly, whether the CEO of the company or any other position.

Marsha

Marsha Petrie Sue, professional speaker and author, is the Mohammed Ali of communicators. She can dance and look pretty, and she uses the entire ring, but she knows how and when to land a knockout punch. Get the smelling salts! Her presentations are charm school with live ammunition. From Dave Rawles – President, Career Solutions

Visit the website for more information www.MarshaPetrieSue.com or call Darlene at 1.888.797.6700
Author of Toxic People: Dealing with Difficult People at work without using weapons or duct tape
#1 bestseller on the “What Corporate America is Reading” from CEO-Read.

Always check out other peoples point of view because there is so much to learn about out own toxic behavior and how to handle difficult people and situations!

It is all about Personal Responsibility and making better choices.  Marsha

Shame on NBC  for refusing to air ads thanking our troops over the holidays!  Talk about Toxic People!!!  And why does difficult people behavior seem to permeate the media? It does make me crazy.

Support the troops!
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Stress free giving…
Gift three or more Toxic People Books and Marsha will autograph each book, wrap them in gold foil and send them directly to you!  No shipping or handling either! Check the Holiday Special at www.MarshaPetrieSue.com for the special!

Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work without Using Weapons or Duct Tape
#1 bestseller on the “What Corporate America is Reading” from CEO-Read.
Available at www.Amazon.com and www.BarnesandNoble.com
www.MarshaPetrieSue.com