Communication – Personal Development – Business

I continue to get emails about Toxic People and especially Backstabbers.

We have all encountered Backstabbers at work. (Remember the song about Backstabbers?) They are gossips, mean spirited and hurtful. In my research for the Toxic People book, one in every 30 people in high-performing business situations has been identified as a Backstabber. This rate is several times higher than that of the general population. Are you surprised? These people have little conscience or ability to change because their antics get them what they want. Their only goals seem to be power and personal gain. Pay attention to these people because they can tear up your road to success and kill your dreams.

Tags: Backstabbers, calm, mental terrorism, stay calm, Toxic by Marsha
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Start noticing how a simple smile makes you feel. Difficult People with Toxic Behaviors smile less. So I plan to just look pleasant more often and not like I am ready to rip peoples throats out.

I was traveling yesterday from Nashville to Chicago and the flight was delayed two hours because of Mechanical problems. I had a choice on how I handled it as did the people behind the counter. They were gracious and compelling with their approach to a bad situation. They helped me think about how productive I could be in writing my next book proposal with two “extra” hours. And I did just that.

Tags: awareness, bad behavior, Be Nice, calm, dealing with difficult people, Goodwill, perception by admin
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I spoke at a meeting last night and the audience was filled with highly educated people, the majority being MD’s – yes-medical doctors. There were some positive business changes being discussed within there organization. I was fascinated to listen to some of the difficult people express their whining questions, accusatory tone, and how some choose to take the Whine and Cheeser Toxic person route.

The message they send
• Don’t expect me to do anything to fix problems – I’m helpless
• To stay on my good side you must listen to my complaints
• I’m perfect. Therefore, it is my duty to notice all of the faults around me
• I’m right occasionally, so you had better be sure and listen to me

Tags: awareness, bad behavior, calm, communications, dealing with difficult people, difficult people, listening, problem people, whinning by Marsha
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Marsha in Washington DC

I was thinking about managing Toxic People. I’m returning from Washington DC today and had some wonderful interactions but also encountered some difficult people.

I have determined that the way you were raised determines how you view the world. If you were waised by Toxic People you will have a tendency to become a difficult person. Kind parents – you have a better chance of being a nicer person.

Did your parents teach you to be suspicious of everyone and everything? My mom did. I couldn’t play with Dougie next door because he had “sneaky” eyes. Thanks Mom – lesson learned. Becoming suspicious about everyone and everything was from the role model provided at home.

Tags: awareness, bad behavior, Be Nice, calm, communications, dealing with difficult bosses, dealing with difficult people, difficult people, perception, sanity by Marsha
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Yikes. Bad behavior is permeating the airport terminal waiting area. Couples arguing, kids screaming, and just general rudness. Why? I truly it is because the graciousness of society is degrading at a spectacular rate because of the lack of interraction needed to run your life. Computers, cell phones, internet, DVR, and other technology eliminate the need to develop skills of kindness and caring.

As I sit here in the airport, I am making a promise to myself to be especially gracious to others - no matter what their behavior. There are so many difficult people here. How about you? Take this week to focus on being a great communicator, ask interesting and delving questions into what the other person cares about. NOT what is important to you.

Tags: bad behavior, calm, communications, dealing with difficult people, difficult people, difficult relationships, perception, sanity, self-centeredness by admin
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I received this email from a reader – thought this might help others if shared.  Instead of becoming a difficult person and a toxic person, he decided to strategize.  VERY smart!

Good Morning Marsha, I was sent your email “laid off,ticked off, and broke” from a loved one.

Tags: calm, communications, counseling, difficult people, laid off, personal marketing, Positive Behavior, turnover, unemployment by admin
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I want to thank the kindness of all the people who attended the Banquet last evening. It seemed that all the difficult people stayed home and were nowhere to be found. The donations, auctions, and general activity to take the time on a Saturday night are much appreciated. Kindness filled the air and the feeling of family and goodwill.

What has happened to our society that kindness takes a backseat to self-centeredness, ego, and rudeness? Why do people choose not to be nice? Personally, I plan to heighten my awareness meter to pay more attention to general kindness and having a good, caring outlook. Being wrapped up in your own life, whether problematic or not, can make anyone over consumed with themselves.

In publishing my next book, Toxic People: Decontaminate difficult people at work without using weapons or duct tape, I must force my life to be more about others and less about me. Here is the key – I will not allow myself to be walked on! Deciding to engage people that have the same view will be my goal. Eliminating the Toxic People from my life will continue to be my mantra. No longer will these people suck the life out of me, and I will surround myself with the like of people that were at the banquet.

Tags: calm, difficult people, Goodwill, kindness, self-centeredness by admin
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