Communication – Personal Development – Business

What a wide variety of comments were posted on the Leadership or Toxic Behavior post! Thanks to everyone who took the time to share their perspective. My goal is to help people and myself see leadership and conflict resolution through different examples and the ‘tarmac’ was just that – an example. I totally agree with what President Obama said in January 2011 after the horrible event in Tucson, “to expand our moral imaginations, to listen to each other more carefully” and to “remind ourselves of all the ways that our hopes and dreams are bound together.”

Tags: communications, dealing with difficult people by Marsha
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When you are being mentally mugged by the toxic types, your self-confidence is in harms way.  Here are weapons that help you take aim:

• Relive a confident moment. Dig back in your memory bank and recapture an event when you delivered the kind of success you want.  Remember as much detail as you can. It’s true – you become what you think about.

• Stop “awfulizing.” You must train yourself to put on the brakes when your thinking wanders to a devastating event. Every time you relive a mental mugging, it seems just a little bit worse and becomes an even more awful event. Get a good weapon to take out the mental terrorists.

Tags: Behavior, dealing with difficult people by Marsha
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Last week I spoke at two events in Oklahoma City.  Thanks to Shannon Warren of the Oklahoma Ethics Consortium for writing the following article to accompany my presentation. Of course, as always, my focus is personal responsibility for our choices!

EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES:
Liars, Backstabbers& Other Unpleasant Characters

It’s almost as if an honest person doesn’t have a chance in business any more.  According to Marsha Petrie Sue in her book Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work without Using Weapons or Duct Tape:
·     4% of the population are accomplished liars – well over a million people;
·     1 out of every 30 people in high-performing business situations have been identified as a Backstabber.  That’s way higher than what you’d normally encounter.

Tags: dealing with difficult people, Toxic by Marsha
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Thought you might enjoy the free iTunes Download for the 52 lessons from The Reactor Factor: How to handle difficult work situations without going nuclear

Click here! Good reminders on how to stay sane in an insane world.

And if you want all the forms and lists from the b, you can download them for free also at www.ReactorFactorBook.com

Cool tools for success.  Not real sexy, but down to earth information.

Marsha Petrie Sue, MBA, CSP
Photographer, Fisherman, Outdoors Woman and Wife to “The Boy Named Sue”
Also a Professional Speaker and Author of a bunch of books and other stuff
Connect with Marsha:
LINKEDIN: http://t.pm0.net/s/c?6h.bl2g.8.6w4l
PLAXO: http://t.pm0.net/s/c?6h.bl2g.9.6w4m
FACEBOOK: http://t.pm0.net/s/c?6h.bl2g.10.6yc6
WEBSITE: http://www.MarshaPetrieSue.com
TWITTER @mpsue:  http://t.pm0.net/s/c?6h.bl2g.13.73cg

Tags: business success, dealing with difficult people, toxic workplace by Marsha
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I was asked to respond to a blog post on conflict, and thought you might be interested in my comment.

As the author of Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work without using Weapons or Duct tape, I agree with the assessment.  Diffusing the situation quickly with language like, “You may be right. Help me understand . . .” creates an environment that allows people to vent.

Learning to keep your own conflict thinking and mental terrorism in check is also important.  Breathe deeply to get oxygen to your brain is step one.

Tags: bad behavior, dealing with difficult people by Marsha
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New Years Pledge: I promise that I will identify toxic behavior and difficult situations, use new skills in my approach, and NEVER use excuses again. I have the strength and fortitude to continue to practice, even after I have failed. I am never the toxic person. I pledge to stay calm and keep my temper. I promise never to take a toxic person’s behavior personally or to seek retribution.

I know how to keep my power by maintaining control. I create my own environment that nurtures my success. I am the master of my future, my stress level, and my own behavior.

Tags: ability, accountability, dealing with difficult people by Marsha
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Yesterday was our annual home owners meeting at our cabin in the White Mountains of Arizona. Betsy, our President is just excellent and ran a smooth meeting. When we finished, we had a delightful potluck at the home of one of our neighbors, who had guests visiting from out of state.

The setting is rural and everyone who has chosen to live here, either part or full time, participates in the outdoors in some fashion. Fishing, birding and hiking are certainly our past times!

Tags: communicate, dealing with difficult people, idiots, Toxic by Marsha
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I’ve been happily married for 15 years and we both hate Valentines Day. Shouldn’t every day be spent caring about your loved one? Why just one day? Does that mean you can be a jerk or a toxic person the rest of the time?

This has not been a focus of mine, until I received a call from the New York Times reporter, Lisa Belkin. She interviewed me for an article for the Styles section about exactly this theme. To view the article click here.

Tags: bad behavior, communicate, dealing with difficult people, difficult people by Marsha
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First off – thanks to Jezebel for mentioning my article that appeared in the New York Times Thursday by Lisa Belkin. I love it because it is “anti Valentines Day! And to the Business Journal for posting a great article on how to deal with difficult people at work.

The press is wonderful, but it does mean that people “test” me for answers and solutions. We were at a party and there was a very loud, obnoxious   woman sitting next to me at the dinner table. It was made clear that her views were opposite of the six other people dining. The lovely hostess even pulled me in the kitchen to ask for my advice to manage this combination steamroller, know it all, whiner difficult person.

Tags: Be Nice, dealing with difficult people, difficult women by Marsha
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One of our readers asked a great questions on how to better manage Toxic Meetings. Use these Quick and Easy steps to STOP THEM and the difficult people in meetings!

My suggestion is to ask the group if they would like to spend less time in meetings and get a raise of hands. On a flip chart or white board, ask them what rules they would like to implement. You can start with a suggestion.

I’ve included some considerations below. Ask for an “OK” that these are acceptable ground rules. Type them out and begin every meeting with these rules to reduce the time spent in meetings.

Tags: communicate, dealing with difficult people, meetings, sanity by admin
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