Also, all my bosses work 100 miles away and one told me recently that it appears that I’m gone a lot.  I have taken only my 5 floater days that are provided through the company as well as 2 sick days this year.  I still have my full 2 weeks vacation yet to use.  I’m not sure why she said this except that I make sure that all my bosses know when I will be in meetings or when I need to take an early lunch do to something.  Stuff like that.  I am always at work and always work overtime.  Help.

My response: Consider prioritizing your duties and tasks as far as importance to your boss and driving profits for your group. Then approach your boss and tell him you need his help in understanding what is most important. Mention that you love the added responsibility and need his help to prioritize. Take those duties that are not the best use of your time and skills and put them at the bottom of the list.  Come up with a solution to have someone else do them — an intern, a student, someone that has “down” time, etc. This will show your creativity and willingness to do more.

I was thinking about managing Toxic People. I’m returning from Washington DC today and had some wonderful interactions but also encountered some difficult people.

I have determined that the way you were raised determines how you view the world. If you were waised by Toxic People you will have a tendency to become a difficult person. Kind parents – you have a better chance of being a nicer person.

Did your parents teach you to be suspicious of everyone and everything? My mom did. I couldn’t play with Dougie next door because he had “sneaky” eyes. Thanks Mom – lesson learned. Becoming suspicious about everyone and everything was from the role model provided at home.

We had the opportunity to go to a reception and concert at the French Embassy. So decided we should hire a driver so we arrived in style! Well we were quoted one fee – and would up paying another. The Driver got lost, we were late, and he would not even discuss a reduced fee and actually was quite indignant! Can you imagine? He just didn’t understand that my friend that lives there was really going to use his services but NOT NOW!!!

How about you? How do you interact in difficult situations? What were the lessons you use? Train yourself to be self-aware of what you have learned and how that helps (or doesn’t help) you in your mindsight of other people.

The Washington DC situations made me reach deep into my tool box and dig out some better language to use with these Difficult people and Toxic People.

I continue to try to manage my behavior because I want to be the one in control of the situation. How about you? What do you do to manage your anger and management of toxic people? On and my new book, Toxic People: Decontaminate difficult people at work without using weapons and duct is now available on www.Amazon.com or on www.BN.com.

Marsha

John Wiley and Sons, New York, has released Marsha’s new book
Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work without Using Weapons or Duct Tape
Order at www.Amazon.com

Phone: 1.866.661.8756 or 480.661.8756
Booking information: 1.888.797.6700
Marsha Petrie Sue – The Decontaminator of Toxic People

Visit the website for more information www.MarshaPetrieSue.com

Listening! Did you know that silence and listen use the same letters? There is a clue there.
Listen for a change. Amazingly, conflict is reduced and many times Toxic People are even pleasant communicators.

Become a great listener. It will resolve toxic situations and separate you from the masses. Most people have no clue the importance of this skill.

Quick hit list for great listening:
1. Keep an open mind
2. Stop talking
3. Turn off your self-talk (see chapter 14 Mental Looting)
4. Start listening
5. Ask questions to find out more
6. Keep listening

So put the duct tape on YOUR mouth!

Get the CD here and become a better listener!

John Wiley and Sons, New York, will be releasing Marsha’s latest book September 29, 2007.
Preorder at www.MarshaPetrieSue.com or www.Amazon.com
Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work without Using Weapons or Duct Tape

Phone: 1.866.661.8756 or 480.661.8756
Booking information: 1.888.797.6700
Marsha Petrie Sue – The Decontaminator of Toxic People

These kids are adult women, who have great jobs (one is an attorney) and obviously well educated. The mom’s want to tell them what to do. My suggestion was to ask their child what kind of outcome they want – the good, bad or ugly. Then to figure out to whom they are talking (communication style) and the approach they have seen work from other people — because obviously their approach is not working.

Go on line – pick up a book at the library – buy something from my shopping cart! LEARN how to manage conflict and toxic people. Difficult people are everywhere and they can suck the life out of you if action is not taken immediately. Back stabbers, whiners, bossy people can all be managered better.

I believe the reason people DON’T take action is because they are lazy and want a magic pill or wand to do it for them. Dad told me — the only two helping hands you will ever have are at the ends of your arms. The Mom’s need to tell their kids that simple rule.

My recommendation was to use my Ask Marsha link on my web site and I will answer them with ideas, considerations and suggestions. I’ll bet you a $1000 that I don’t hear from them!
Let me know what you think…
Marsha