By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 (P.L. 90 – 363) to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis’ birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee.

Read more and please share this wonderful history with your children, friends and family. Freedom is never free and I honor everyone who protects my country.

God bless America. Marsha

Marsha Petrie Sue, MBA, CSP – Professional Speaker and Author

Please join me on FACEBOOK

If you are not twittering - start today

Then layer on the networking meetings, up close and personal time with people, and you can be in the down draft of the networking typhoon. It’s not just the Generation Y that are building businesses using these tools.  Here are a couple of my suggestions:

Twitter.com: A free social networking service that allows users to send “updates” (text-based posts that are up to 140 characters long) via SMS (small message service) instant messaging, email, the Twitter website, or an application such as Twitterrific. The site has become very popular in only a few months — a lot of people are watching it. I like using it because it is just fun.  The following examples gives you a great example.

Twitter for Business Success:
Receipt for successful Twitter application:
1 Filipino marrying into a Korean family
1 taco truck Goliath Cater Craft
1 scoop Korean Taco
1 tortilla
1 RockSugar chef Roy Choi
A dash of friends and family to blog, brand and Twitter.
Mix in the Internet Social Networks and you have a delicious application of using Social Networks to establish and run a successful business. Where will this unique taco truck park next? Only the tech-savvy know for sure.

How it started: After a night of bar hopping, Mark Manguera was sitting with his 25-year-old sister-in-law, Alice Shin. His wife Caroline was already sleeping soundly. Mark was munching on a Carne Asada taco, and it dawned on him, “Why not put Korean barbecue on a taco?” He told friends and family of his epiphany and put the magical receipt together.

The result: The Kogi Korean BBQ taco truck. (@kogibbq on Twitter) After celebrating a November 20, 2008 soft opening, the roving cater craft has emerged as a social-networking juggernaut, drawing 300 to 800 people each time it parks. This may occur several times in an evening and launching a mushrooming cyber-hippie movement affectionately referred to as “Kogi kulture.”

Here is another idea:

Ning.com 100,000 users. Create your own social network for anything.
An online service to create, customize, and share a social network.
Example: Phil Singleton, John Driscoll & Company

Get a group started today!

Phil started a group using www.Ning.com, Arizona Excellence Group and hand selects whom he wants to invite.  Luckily, I am part of the group.  Within six months he had 60+ people in the group.  They are a tight knit group and continue to refer each other for business opportunities, support, problem solving and also work with each other. This is an excellent example of using social networking for business development.  What group could you form?  Please post a comment on how you are using these social networking tools!

*********
Save the Date
*********
March 21, 2009 – Las Vegas
I will be addressing iLearningGlobal and invite you to join me.
This is an amazing opportunity and to learn more, please click here.
http://www.marshapetriesue.com/ILG/index.html
This incredible learning tool allows you to deliver 5 – 7 minute capsuls of learning to yourself, your group and your familiy.  Sign up today!

March 26, 2009 – Complimentary teleclass presented by Hilton-Johnson http://www.trainingu.com/scripts/leaders.lasso
I’ll be speaking on THE REACTOR FACTOR – how to respond positively to negative situations at work.  More information later – but save the date!  7 PM CST (9PM EST)

April 6, 2009 – I’ll be speaking at the Ritz Carlton this evening for Guilty Millionaire – an amazing MasterMind group that you need to be attending.  Mark it on your calendar and more information http://guiltymillionaire.com/index.php

1. Select only the people in the cc: list that care about or need the information.  Rarely is it everyone on the carbon copy diatribe.

2. Re-title the message as the theme and topic changes. For the receiver of the message, it keeps the focus on what you are addressing.  For you, it makes it easier if you are searching for a message previously sent.

3. Obvious, but people still do it.  Don’t type in all caps.  It is hard to read and can be interpreted as shouting.

4. If you have a questions that has not been answered in two emails, pick up the phone or walk to other person’s office. This will save you time and build better relationships.

5. If you are upset and sending an email to address the situation, write it and save it as a draft.  Wait at least one hour, reread the message, and you will find that you need to rewrite part of the message and extract the emotion and anger.

6. Be concise and to the point. Think about using bullet points.  Most readers find this much easier to read, especially when you are receiving so many emails every day!

7. Make sure the original message (called a message thread) is included in your reply.  Otherwise the recipient may not have the context of your answer.

8. Use proper punctuation, structure and layout.

9. Do not use email to discuss confidential matters and consider adding a disclaimer to your message.

10. Try to read and proof your email before sending it. (This is one I’m working on!!)

Here a couple other posts on email that will help too!  http://www.decontaminatetoxicpeople.com/category/email/

Here are some of their findings and my solutions:
1. Men are more apt to zone out in a meeting since their brains are designed to enter a “rest state” more easily than women. My solution: Change the energy in the meeting every 6 – 8 minutes by telling a story, asking the group to write something down, share a thought with the person sitting next to them, or ask for feedback round robin style. Be creative.
2. Women will have a tendency to run off topic because their personal development has encouraged them to multitask. My solution: in the ground rules of the meeting, focus on sticking to the agenda. Any participant can bring the group back to task. Have a “parking lot” so if something is brought up off the agenda, it can be posted and considered for another meeting.

These are just two ideas of many covered. You can preorder the book on Amazon.com. This book could be used to expand negotiating skills, solve communication problems and create an expanded professional component. It is all about self-awareness and understanding gender issue, and is certainly big in corporate setting and any business environment.

I do discuss gender differences in conflict in the Toxic People book and also on the audio version of the book. I should mention too that if you sign up for my monthly newsletter on www.MarshaPetrieSue.com you would receive a download of a very cool Toxic People podcast for your iPod or MP3.
Your comments are always appreciated and I love receiving emails from you and especially the blog posts. Thanks!!

Marsha

1. Make it personal – not a mass email to sign up for stuff I don’t care about.

2. Make it easy – tell me why I should do business with you.

3. Make is short – I don’t need a litany of products. I will know what I want when I need it!

Here is the email from Mrs. Fields…

Hello,
I am a service associate with Mrs. Fields Corporate Services Division and I wanted to thank you for the order you placed with us Online. If you have any gift-giving needs in the future, I would like to help you make the order process as “sweet” and simple as possible. I can help you with product selection, quantity discounts, customized gifts, and much more! If you have future orders whether it be one gift or many please let me know. We also offer customization on several of our gifts. We have an in house print shop that can place your company logo on one of many cookie tins or ribbons. If you have any questions or would like to set up a corporate account, my information is listed below. Thanks again for your order, we really do appreciate your business.

Best regards,

Jacob Perry, Corporate Sales
1717 S 4800 W, Salt Lake City, UT 84104
Phone: 801.412.8832 Fax: 800.878.8858
jperry@mrsfields.com <mailto:jperry@mrsfields.com>
“Making Gift Giving Sweet & Simple”

They have my business!!! Marsha

(email me for the Ten Commandments to Cooperation)

Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com

“A long-time employee in our office, who is respected by all of the companies shareholders, is a challenging person for her coworkers to work with. In the years I have worked with her, her interactions with me have always been positive. She is very skilled at projecting the desired image to those she perceives to be in positions of authority or power.”

“She is described by her coworkers: Will not share information about clients that others need. If directly asked for the information, she will respond with ‘I’ll take care of it’ and then may not take care of it, but may just wait for the other person to handle it wrong.
TRY THE ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION MODLE: IT MIGHT SOUND SOMETHING LIKE THIS:
1. THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF THIS
2. I NEED TO HAVE THIS COMPLETED BY __________ FOR ______________.
3. WILL IT BE DONE BY ______________ OR ______________
(AN ALTERNATIVE)
SHOULD I CHECK BACK WITH YOU ON __________ OR ________________.
4. THEN IF IT DOES COME BACK AND IS A MESS – USE:
IN THE FUTURE, I NEED TO MAKE SURE THIS IS COMPLETED. SO I WILL MAKE SURE I GET A CONFIRMING EMAIL OFF TO YOU BECAUSE I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT NOT BEING COMPLETED PROPERLY BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHECK IN WITH YOU OR PERHAPS WASN’T CLEAR ON WHAT NEEDED TO BE COMPLETED.

And the scenarion continues. “She is often very crabby with other staff – never with the shareholders.”
CALL THE BEHAVIOR. ASK HER, HAVE I DONE SOMETHING TO PERSONALLY UPSET YOU?

“Will not take responsibility for her mistakes – blames others.” (SEE MODEL ABOVE AND I WOULD RECOMMEND WRITING IT OUT SO YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH RESPONSE.

“She likes to stir up trouble but feigns ignorance if directly asked about it.” THAT SOUNDED LIKE A PUT DOWN. IS THAT WHAT YOU MEANT? IF NOT, HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM.

THE QUESTION IS – DOES HER BEHAVIOR PERSONALLY EFFECT YOU? IF NOT, IT IS IMPORTANT TO GIVE OTHER PEOPLE THE SUGGESTIONS AND HELP WITH THEIR COMMUNICATION SKILLS, BUT NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM FOR THEM. I BELIEVE THAT IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO IMPROVE A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE, UNLESS YOU WORK AS THE MEDIATOR WITH BOTH OF THEM IN THE SAME ROOM.

Marsha

My step daughter, Karen, sent me this email and I believe there is a lesson here for us all… Don’t let your mouth over load your goals.

“‘I don’t know if you watched any of the pre-game stuff, but they talked about how SMART the Stanford women had to be just to get in (in my opinion implying that the TN gals were a bunch of morons)…one of their players said “Sure, Candace can dunk, but I’d like to challenge her to a “math-athon”. Well, they better stick to math because TN outran them, out rebounded them and flat out made them look like a bunch “math-chicks” trying to play basketball…

So, for our more challenged TN players, the math is simple: 7 + 1 = 8 National Championships!!! Lady Vols Rock!’”  Karen

Thirty-four seasons ago, after Pat Summitt had coached her first game at Tennessee, she phoned home. “Did you win?” her father, Richard Head, asked. “No sir, we got beat.” “By how much?” “One point.”

There was a long pause, and as Summitt feared that her father would blame her, he said: “Let me just tell you one thing, Trisha. Don’t take donkeys to the Kentucky Derby.” Pat’s father talking to her after her first lost of her coaching career. Apparently it paid off in her managing and leading young women to success!

They continue in the article “The message was a valuable one: The best coaches had the best players. Tennessee (36-2) clearly did Tuesday night in winning its second consecutive national championship and eighth over all with a 64-48 victory over Stanford.”

The lesson here for all of us? Communicate well, lead the way you want to be, and let focus and discipline be your middle names! Marsha

In my ultimate wisdom, I “upgraded” technology meaning my world has been turned upside down. My mind is spilling over with new gadgetry including an iCal calendar that I have been told is much better than anything on the market. Grind that up with a new “upgraded” iPhone cell phone, and I am totally nuts.

The good news is my learning curve is being challenged… and I like that. The bad news is I was fifteen minutes late for a meeting that involved a large group of people. Beating myself up will not solve anything. Evaluating the “why” part of my tardiness and time management I believe will … as I take personal responsibility for my screw up.

Here’s what I’ve learned in the last 24 hours.
I have too much on my plate and I’ve done it all myself. Solution: prioritize with new eyes. Larry Winget, my mentor and friend, said “Stop everything except your personal life and your business. You have plenty of time for the rest AFTER your business is where you want it.”

Trying to satisfy everyone else and being “nice” to everyone that asks for anything is not always the best choice. Solution: every time I say “yes” to anything and put something on my calendar, ask myself, “Is this activity going to move me closer or further away from my goals.”

When I do make a mistake, understand why and stop beating myself up. Solution: Say I’m sorry, ask for forgiveness, learn from it, and move on. (Easier said than done!)

I received over 150 emails from people concerned that I was beating myself up – and sharing their wonderful words. People are just wonderful! Now that did me good! I am just grateful that I took the time to send an email of apology rather than hide. It helped me win the war on mental terrorism.

Thank you, Marsha

Trace seemed to be the “Good” and Piers seemed to be the “Evil.” In the boardroom with Trump, Piers made it all to clear that The Celebrity Apprentice was all about communications, business and focus. His comment was right on. Mr. Trump had specifically directed the contestants that the crown would be awarded to whomever raised the most amount of money and they would be declared the winner. It was not about being “nice” or “liked.” Piers listened to the instructions and proceeded to accomplish the assignment. And the winner is communications.

By the way, Omorosa is an idiot. Talk about poor communications and her dumb comment about Piers and getting his teeth cleaned. She had an opportunity to shine through her communications. How many opportunities have you had to stand out and just didn’t have the right words? I know I have had plenty and am constantly learning to be a better communicator and speaker. Need some guidance?

Think about American Idol. It is now down to personality not talent in my opinion. Which of the contestants do you think comes across as a self confident (not arrogant), poised, and energized person? The viewers will forgive a “pitch” problem if they have formed a connection with the singer. Was Ramiele, who was voted off, confident when interviewed. Nope. She looked and sounded terrified. Her eye contact with the camera was weak, her voice wained, and her body language was less almost fetal. When she was working with Dolly Parton (and they are about the same size), Dolly was much easier to watch because of her polished communications.

How is your communication skill? Have you developed a self help habit to constantly strengthen each interaction? It is your responsibility to focus on your own personal development. No one else will. So what is your next step?

There is no reason why everyone shouldn’t be better communicators and place themselves in the winner circle. I believe the reason is because people are too lazy to get out of their comfort zone and learn a new approach…then actually use it. As a professional speaker, this is the number one requested topic and then right along with communications is dealing with difficult people. Number ONE! Every time I keynote a meeting, people will say, “Thanks I needed that.”

Marsha

ps: Did you click on the word listen for your complimentary download?

That statement may be abrasive to you, but you can’t get better without allowing time for learning more about how your brain works. It is our personal responsibility to find the time to do this!

I often talk about the right and left brain and how it shapes our thinking and most of all our communications. The amazing story of Jill’s stroke and how, as a scientist, she was able to really analyze (during the stroke!!) what was happening to her. Just amazing.

The trick for each of us is to understand how our brain works, and embrace the control we do have. If you get ticked off, it’s your fault and you have become a toxic person. If you say something inappropriate, it’s your fault. If the outcomes you have in relationships are bad, it’s your fault. Plain and simple, everyone must take personal responsibility for life.

Marsha