Entries Tagged as 'Behavior'

The Choice of Civility, Difficult People and Perspective

What a wide variety of comments were posted on the Leadership or Toxic Behavior post! Thanks to everyone who took the time to share their perspective. My goal is to help people and myself see leadership and conflict resolution through different examples and the ‘tarmac’ was just that – an example. I totally agree with what President Obama said in January 2011 after the horrible event in Tucson, “to expand our moral imaginations, to listen to each other more carefully” and to “remind ourselves of all the ways that our hopes and dreams are bound together.”

This is a preview of The Choice of Civility, Difficult People and Perspective. Read the full post (313 words, 1 image, estimated 1:15 mins reading time)

Tags: communications, dealing with difficult people by Marsha
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Leadership or Toxic Behavior? Barack Obama and Jan Brewer

Living in Arizona is never dull.  When President Barack Obama came into town on his reelection campaign he was met on the tarmac by Arizona Governor, Jan Brewer. According to interviews with Governor Brewer, upon her greeting the President he launched into his dismay over her book, Scorpions for Breakfast, and walked away while she was speaking to him. I agree with our Governor, illegal immigration on the Arizona border must be better addressed.

I have a problem with his behavior because to me, it is neither Presidential nor does it show a strong, capable leadership style. Are his exceptional oratory skills only present when reading off of a ‘comfort monitor’ aka ‘TelePrompTer?’

This is a preview of Leadership or Toxic Behavior? Barack Obama and Jan Brewer. Read the full post (189 words, 1 image, estimated 45 secs reading time)

Tags: communications by Marsha
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Time to Stop Setting Goals

Fewer than 2 percent of the people who make New Year’s resolutions actually achieve them, so why would you waste a minute setting them? The true reason is that it gives you hope that the next 12 months will be better than the last. If you have ever set the same goal year after year, why don’t you just stop the insanity? Stop setting goals and start taking the initiative through personal responsibility. Here are the top five goals people set and that 98 percent of those people are never going to come close to achieving.

1. Lose Weight

This is a preview of Time to Stop Setting Goals. Read the full post (342 words, 1 image, estimated 1:22 mins reading time)

Tags: accountability by Marsha
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Platform Power – eliminate your anxiety when speaking!

It’s painful watching someone speak who is filled with anxiety. How are you at controlling your nervousness?

Understand that the audience can tell immediately when you are panicked. This unrest is typically caused by lack of self-confidence, which is then exacerbated by poorly drafted presentations, little or no practice, and not knowing your audience. Think about a nervous speaker you previewed; did their anxiety build confidence in their message? Or were you just hoping they would make it through? Using a planning model helps reduce anxiety because it gives you structure and the knowledge that you are organized and in control.

Construction: Use the following 11-point model to plan your presentation. This model can also be used for planning meetings, writing newsletters and more.

This is a preview of Platform Power – eliminate your anxiety when speaking!. Read the full post (418 words, 2 images, estimated 1:40 mins reading time)

Tags: communicate, presentation skills, professional development by Marsha
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Survival of the Fastest: Three keys to speed up

How much can you get done in a day? Want to spend more time in the outdoors but just can’t seem to find the time?  Survival in this business downturn and staying sane during the process is not easy. You must be faster at everything you do. Learn how to have the energy to accomplish it all by sleeping faster. Focus on leveraging every minute of the day by learning faster time management skills. Organize your outdoor gear so you can get to nature faster.

This is a preview of Survival of the Fastest: Three keys to speed up. Read the full post (337 words, 1 image, estimated 1:21 mins reading time)

Tags: time management by Marsha
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Mental Muggers: Don’t let toxic people rob you

When you are being mentally mugged by the toxic types, your self-confidence is in harms way.  Here are weapons that help you take aim:

  • Relive a confident moment. Dig back in your memory bank and recapture an event when you delivered the kind of success you want.  Remember as much detail as you can. It’s true – you become what you think about.
  • Stop “awfulizing.” You must train yourself to put on the brakes when your thinking wanders to a devastating event. Every time you relive a mental mugging, it seems just a little bit worse and becomes an even more awful event. Get a good weapon to take out the mental terrorists.
This is a preview of Mental Muggers: Don’t let toxic people rob you. Read the full post (328 words, 1 image, estimated 1:19 mins reading time)

Tags: Behavior, dealing with difficult people by Marsha
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Crying In the Workplace: Why it doesn’t work

It is always interesting to see the kind of requests I receive for information through my blog – www.DecontaminateToxicPeople.com

I would be very interested to see if you have other suggestions on crying in the workplace. Personally, I think it is unacceptable and immature!

Crying at work

Question:

I have a young lady on staff and she is working on a large and important project but every time someone questions some of her decisions right/wrong about the project she get very emotional, which typically results in her crying.

This is a preview of Crying In the Workplace: Why it doesn’t work. Read the full post (515 words, 1 image, estimated 2:04 mins reading time)

Tags: communications, Emotions, whining by Marsha
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Stop Setting Goals!

Happy New Year! How did you do in 2010 with your New Year’s resolutions? It was a challenging year for many people so I thought this newsletter that we ran a year ago could be even more appropriate now than it was last time. I would love to hear your comments. Please let me know what you think!

This is a preview of Stop Setting Goals!. Read the full post (642 words, 1 image, estimated 2:34 mins reading time)

Tags: accountability, Behavior, Goal setting by Marsha
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Thoughtful Thanksgiving

Thanks to my friend Deb for this! Excellent reminders to help manage the toxic people (and maybe family members) at the stressful holiday time!
Because forgiveness is so important, it only stands to reason that there are roadblocks that can hinder our willingness to forgive. We must make the commitment to identify and remove each one.
Selfishness
Selfishness shouts, “I have been hurt! It is so unfair. I have rights!” What I am really saying is that how I feel about the hurt is more important than forgiving the hurt.
Pride
Pride cries, “Look at what they have done to me. Don’t they realize who I am?” To receive or give forgiveness requires humility.
Low self-esteem
Some of us have built an entire identity around a hurt. The attention we gain from the wrong we have suffered defines who we are. It is something we cherish and refuse to relinquish for the sake of forgiveness.
Blindness
We may be blind to the fact that we have not forgiven a hurt. We have convinced ourselves that we really have forgiven the one who hurt us by going through the motions and saying the right words without really dealing with the pain. In reality, all we have done is dig a hole and bury the pain. As long as hurt is buried alive, it will keep resurrecting itself in our life, but when the hurt is dealt with and forgiveness is given, the pain is buried dead – and it stays dead.
Pain
Forgiveness is spiritual surgery. It exposes old hurts that have never completely healed. We can move, change jobs, change churches, change friends or even change families, but until we yank up the root of bitterness and cover it with forgiveness, we will live with unresolved pain.
Ignorance
Maybe we don’t know how to forgive someone because are under the impression that forgiveness is an emotion or feeling. True forgiveness is a choice – a deliberate choice to release the person who has hurt us from the pain they have caused.
Oh happy day if we could all do the above! Do you have anything to add?  Any comments on how we can apply this great information?
Permanent link to this post (368 words, estimated 1:28 mins reading time)

Tags: Behavior, think by Marsha
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How to deal with someone who talks behind your back … and more!

I have had many requests to send the following list of answers from The Reactor Factor: How to handle difficult work situations without going nuclear. Perhaps our current lagging economy and skyrocketing unemployment is driving these requests. Or maybe it is dysfunctional work teams, poor leadership or just plain toxic people.

Do you have additional approaches that work for you?  Please share! I’m thinking my next book title will be SOS: Stamp Our Stupidity. Your story may land in that new resource!

I can no longer deal with a fellow colleague who talks behind my back.

This is a preview of How to deal with someone who talks behind your back … and more!. Read the full post (456 words, estimated 1:49 mins reading time)

Tags: communications by Marsha
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