Thanks to my friend Deb for this! Excellent reminders to help manage the toxic people (and maybe family members) at the stressful holiday time!
Because forgiveness is so important, it only stands to reason that there are roadblocks that can hinder our willingness to forgive. We must make the commitment to identify and remove each one.
Selfishness shouts, “I have been hurt! It is so unfair. I have rights!” What I am really saying is that how I feel about the hurt is more important than forgiving the hurt.
Pride cries, “Look at what they have done to me. Don’t they realize who I am?” To receive or give forgiveness requires humility.
Some of us have built an entire identity around a hurt. The attention we gain from the wrong we have suffered defines who we are. It is something we cherish and refuse to relinquish for the sake of forgiveness.
We may be blind to the fact that we have not forgiven a hurt. We have convinced ourselves that we really have forgiven the one who hurt us by going through the motions and saying the right words without really dealing with the pain. In reality, all we have done is dig a hole and bury the pain. As long as hurt is buried alive, it will keep resurrecting itself in our life, but when the hurt is dealt with and forgiveness is given, the pain is buried dead – and it stays dead.
Forgiveness is spiritual surgery. It exposes old hurts that have never completely healed. We can move, change jobs, change churches, change friends or even change families, but until we yank up the root of bitterness and cover it with forgiveness, we will live with unresolved pain.
Maybe we don’t know how to forgive someone because are under the impression that forgiveness is an emotion or feeling. True forgiveness is a choice – a deliberate choice to release the person who has hurt us from the pain they have caused.
Oh happy day if we could all do the above! Do you have anything to add? Any comments on how we can apply this great information?