New Eyes: How to address old problems and bad relationships

UnknownDo you have a situation, either personal or professional, that needs to improve? If so, why don’t you? If you don’t, you must have already been blessed with Sainthood! We all face situations that linger and typically the reason is our level of discomfort in stepping up and resolving it.


  1. Figure out what part of the problem you own. Something as small as not asking enough questions to get to the real issue and then trying to solve the wrong problem.  By the way, this is often the case!
  2. Stop with the negative self-talk (they won’t listen, it’s a waste of time, I really don’t care that much, etc.) and determine the benefit from spending time resolving the situation.
  3. Re: #2. If you really don’t give a rip, drop it. Stop thinking about it and don’t let it push you down into the negative spiral.
  4. Write down a plan of action. This helps you mentally prepare your thinking and your attitude for a successful resolution.
  5. What are the benefits of resolving this problem? What are the consequences of not resolving the issue?
  6. Think of the specific language you want to use in the approach and write that down too. Think about if their communication preference seems to be from a People Person, Party Person, Planner Person or a Point Person perspective. Email me at if you want to receive a Style Summary outline of these four types to better speed read their behavior.
  7. How do you want to make the approach? In person communication is best when possible, and secondly, pick up the phone.  Don’t hide behind an email, text or IM. That is a chicken’s way out.
  8. If appropriate, follow up your conversation with an email or text thanking the person for their time, concern or whatever.
  9. If it doesn’t work the first time, try again.  Both men and women hear less than 25% of what you are saying and that means your message is not being heard. Don’t give up if the relationship doesn’t improve immediately or if the problem isn’t solved.  Try again through the vision of your new eyes.
  10. Give yourself a pat on the back. You have taken the first step to look at the situation through new eyes.  Congratulations.

Do you have additional thoughts?  Please share if you do!

Cheers, Marsha

Cell 602 418-1991
Professional Speaker, Executive Coach and Best Selling Author
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