I had a wonderful email from a person after they had finished reading my book, Toxic People. I wanted to share my response to them. In my opinion, just asking this kind of question takes real guts! It’s all about personal responsibility, self leadership, accountability and managing change.
They said: I would say I am a difficult person you mention in our book/ the Zipper Lip/
My response: This is a behavioral choice you are making to combat a situation that you don’t like. The hard reality is that Zipper Lips choose this behavior because they either don’t know how else to respond or are too lazy to change. I’m guessing you are in category 1.
They said: How ever I feel people think they are entitled to behave bad/ to me bad behavior consists of being too loud/ non stop talking which most people do and I never get a chance to talk/
My response: Your examples are innate behavioral preferences. I had to learn many years ago that everyone doesn’t act, communicate, or behave like me. So that means my tolerance has to change towards them because I will never change them. And most people are too lazy to change. I can only change me. So I recommend learning to be more flexible to their behavior and learn how to be an assertive communicator. Go on my web site at www.MarshaPetrieSue.com and sign up for my newsletter. Also, visit the “articles” section. I would also recommend signing up for my blog at www.DecontaminateToxicPeople.com. These actions will help you start to broaden your scope on behaviors then you can choose what you want to change, because you will never change other people. Is it hard? You bet. Can it be done? You bet. I’m living proof.
They said: Toxic people can be kids/ people who think its OK to break in to cars/ run red lights/ be rude like run into me in the mall with carts??
My response: I believe the only thing we as humans can do is become role models and present ourselves and our behavior as we expect others to be. You’ll be amazed the impact this change in thinking has.
What do you think? How can we better tolerate other peoples toxic behavior? How can we force ourselves not to run back in our cave and become a zipper lip?
Happy New Year! Marsha
Additional information: MarciaSnow@MarshaPetrieSue.com 1.888.797.6700
“Silence is Golden – Duct Tape is Silver”