Building Respect with Difficult People and Toxic Behavior

Job hopping may be a choice if you do not have trust and respect on your job.  You really don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.  Interestingly, Generation Y (usually considered 27 years old and younger) don’t have a problem with this and that alone may appear to be toxic behavior. All of this should be part of our personal development!

1.    Take personal responsibility for every outcome (both personal and professional.) Choose to or choose not to … it’s not that you can’t.

2.    Patience is a virtue and also a learned skill. Questioning and digging deeper to clarify and understand is the key to developing patience. Remember the Emotional Bank Account and think about deposits and withdrawals.

3.    Stay calm.  They can’t get your goat if they don’t know where it’s tied up.

4.    Call the behavior, especially if it is toxic,  if you don’t understand where the other person is coming from. Dig deeper, question and stay on topic whether they are a backstabber, steamroller or more.  Suspend your judgment. Even if you are working with a toxic boss!

Manage even a Toxic Boss!

5.    Commit to seek a mutual purpose – “It seems like we’re both trying to force our view on one another.  I am committed to discussing this until we have an answer we are both happy with” can create a safe environment to move forward.

6.    Apologize. If you’ve done or said something you know is wrong or uncalled for, own up to it.  Be direct and sincere. There is even a song about apologizing!

7.    Find common ground and drive the intent back to it. “I feel like we have to cut the costs on this.  Can we agree that we want to run a profitable business? Help me understand what other approaches you are thinking about. (Fogging communication skill)

8.    Flex to the other persons style. They are neither right or wrong, they just are.

People People – slower paced, people oriented
Party People – faster paced, people oriented
Point People – faster paced, task oriented
Planner People – slower paced, task oriented

Respect is like air.  You don’t think about it until it’s gone.  Once it’s gone – it’s all you think about.  What do you think about????

Email me for the Ten Commandments of Cooperation!

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