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How to stay UP when dealing with DOWN and difficult people

I was interviewed by the New York Times this morning and the reporter reminded me that dealing with jerks can be a real downer.  I believe we have to have laser focus on how to stay UP then they are trying to pull us DOWN.

Tips for building your spirit:
- Stay hopeful.
- Take risks.
- Volunteer two hours a week.
- Celebrate with your family.
- Enjoy the outdoors.
- Share a positive thought.
- List reasons for gratitude.

“The enthusiastic, to those who are not, are always something of a trial.” - Alban Goodier

Get ready for Groundhogs Day!

PhilPunxsutawney Phil is the world’s smallest and furriest weather forecaster and February 2 is his day. Who forecasts your weather and life?

You may have never celebrated Groundhogs Day on February 2, but there is much to learn from them. What to learn from Groundhogs? They are excellent diggers, constructing a burrow with a main entrance and an escape tunnel.

If you are ready to move to the next level, dig and ask questions so you have information to create your own opinion of how to move forward; construct a plan and be flexible; and have an escape tunnel. Establishing a “Plan B” upfront will help you feel secure in your journey.

What’s holding you back in your job success?

I was recently asked by a reader how they could possibly be overlooked as an expert on the job when, in fact, they are the expert and someone else is getting the credit.  Here are the facts.  If you don’t let people know how good they are, they will never know!

You must blow your own horn without becoming arrogant or a pain in the rear.  It is just that simple.  In the fast paced word of business today, leaders just don’t have time to seek you out.  You must take the lead.

Difficult Person – or is it just your perception gone bad?

The last few days I’ve been in San Antonio speaking to the Harley-Davidson Dealer Operations Training.  When I mentioned this to several of my friends, their immediate response was negative.  Why?  Their perception of “HOGS” was totally incorrect!

They were without a doubt one of the most gracious and kind groups I have ever spoken to. With their global success and excellent brand recognition, the exposure to negative comment and perception is great.

So my idea of the day is DON’T GO THERE!  Keep an open mind and form your OWN opinion.

Marsha

Marsha’s Harley-Davidson Univesity Hat

Extending your Toxic and Difficult People Solutions

I’m always looking for like minded people when it comes to taking personal development for managing changes in the approach of dealing with difficult people. Check out Angela’s blog for managing toxic neighbors.

It is your responsibility to use behavior modification and self awareness to help with more flexible choices when dealing with the clams, back stabbers, the bully, steamrollers and others.

I was speaking this weekend for Sensaria Natural Bodycare and was thrilled to be surrounded by people so concerned with their personal development. This is what managing improving interpersonal communications and improving the customer relationship is all about!

Difficult People make Toxic Meetings

One of our readers asked a great questions on how to better manage Toxic Meetings. Use these Quick and Easy steps to STOP THEM and the difficult people in meetings!

My suggestion is to ask the group if they would like to spend less time in meetings and get a raise of hands. On a flip chart or white board, ask them what rules they would like to implement. You can start with a suggestion.

I’ve included some considerations below. Ask for an “OK” that these are acceptable ground rules. Type them out and begin every meeting with these rules to reduce the time spent in meetings.

Negative News and Media can make you a Toxic Person

When I boot up my computer in the morning, the first page is always my personalized page from the Wall Street Journal. I used to have it on Fox News but couldn’t stand having the first information in my brain tragic deaths, murders and general world chaos.

I am convinced that you do become what you think about so I make a choice not to start a great day with ugly information. It can make you a Toxic Person! What the WSJ does for me is condenses important factoids into two or three sentences. IF I choose to read more, then I can.

Difficult Peoples Toxic Behavior Spill Over and includes Britney Spears

Britney Spears just can’t get out of the news because of her toxic behavior. She lost visitation rights for her kids, her fans are dropping like flies, but there is still a loyal group clinging on her every toxic action and word. She even kicked Dr. Phil out of her hospital room!
She is like some of the people you work with – they are talented but have become difficult people. They infect others and create havoc.
Do you have a Britney in your office? It’s not just the damage they do to themselves – they set the tone for the office productivity, morale, and temperament. The top producers that make a mess of their paperwork, the team leaders that can rally the troops but miss the deadlines, the assistants that provide excellent work but are always late to work, and more.
Here is an 6-step conflict resolution plan:
1. Identify the Toxic Person’s behavior.
• Review the six types of Toxic People from the book determine with whom you are dealing.
2. Understand the outcome needed with the relationship.
• Fix it or sever the relationship?
3. Decide how you want to be perceived by the Toxic Person.
• Do you even care what difficult people think of you? (Don’t be cavalier; think about the importance of this question!)
4. Plan your response to Toxic People.
• Be accountable for what you are going to say.
5. Practice your approach.
• How will you check your own anger or anxiety during the approach?
Continue to refer to this list every time you have to manage a toxic situation or a difficult person, and do this until all the habits become second nature. Let’s send this info to Britney Spears! Hopefully she will have time to read it between cocktails and hospital visits.